Point of View: The Transition from being a Mom of 1 to a Mom of 2

There’s differing opinions on what stage of parenthood is harder to transition into. Is it going from no kids to one kid? One kid to two kids? Two to three? Though, I haven’t yet experienced transitioning from two kids to three kids, I am here to share with you my parental experience with my first born and then my second baby.

With every pregnancy comes doubts and fears and uncertainties. And all at once you are laboring and pushing and suddenly your baby is in your arms and it is the happiest moment of your life. You are filled with utter wonder and joy at this tiny human in your arms. 

You immediately fall in love with your First.

You immediately fall in love with your Second, yet completely have enough room in your heart for both. 

You’re obsessed with your First baby and think everything they do is amazing. 

You’re obsessed with your Second and everything they do is also amazing, but not quite in the same wonderment as being a first time parent. What you are most obsessed with, is seeing your two interact, especially your First loving on your Second. Oh how this fills you with such immeasurable joy.

You have no idea what you're doing with your First. I very naively thought that since I was an early childhood major, babysat and nannied since I was 12, and have taken care of my many nieces and nephews, that I would be a pro at taking care of my own baby. Boy was I wrong. I had no clue what I was doing! My husband and I just seemed to be winging it each day. And the thing is, we got better and better at it. I reckon parenting is just "learn as you go."

You feel much more equipped, confident, and prepared with your Second. It was such a good feeling this time around to not only feel more prepared as a parent of a newborn, but also be more prepared when it came to pregnancy, labor, birth, and postpartum care. I set goals for myself for labor, birth, and postpartum care and it was much easier to achieve these goals since we'd been through it before and knew what to expect. When Freya was born, Jack and I were so much more prepared to care for an infant this time. We both knew how quickly this stage passed so we wanted to make sure to enjoy each moment. Things weren't as hard because we'd already been through it once before. Though of course I still make plenty of mistakes, I feel much more confident in my abilities to take care of this tiny human.

You can't quite grasp the concept of "this stage won't last forever" with your First. Before and during Evia's infancy people always told me, "This stage won't last forever." I tried to assure myself of this when things were especially tough - multiple wake-ups in the night, colic, continual crying, teething, tongue-tie struggles, etc. But it's much harder to assure yourself of this fact when you've never been through it before. It feels more like, "Well, it sure does seem like it's lasting forever in this moment. When will this ever end?”

You realize every moment is so precious and each stage goes by so quickly in the scheme of life. Looking back, the moments and stages that seemed to last forever really did not at all. In fact, they all went by quite quickly. This time around, I am trying to cherish every single moment because I KNOW each stage does not last forever. So instead of focusing on the difficulties, I want to treasure each moment. Though it’s still early on, I have been loving and cherishing every second of the newborn stage. And as I'm typing this, I cannot believe Freya is already one month old! Nights aren't as hard as they were with Evia. I actually enjoy waking up in the night to feed my sweet baby. I find joy in the mornings as I begin a new day. I cherish that Freya loves to be held, almost all day long.

You grow as a parent with your First.

You grow as a parent and celebrate how far you've come with your Second. I feel so much pride this time around reflecting on how far I've come as a mom. In the beginning, holding Evia and doing anything else at the same time was a challenge. And now with a toddler and a newborn, I'm so proud of the fact that I can hold a baby, push a stroller, and play "grocery shopping" in the park with my toddler all at the same time. I can nurse my baby with my toddler on my lap while reading a story. We should celebrate these milestones of growth as parents!

The transition from no kids to one was much harder for me so far than the transition from one to two kids. Although I loved being Evia's mama sooo much and wouldn't have changed it for the world, I felt the "grieving of loss of self" deep in my soul. Who in the world was I now that I'm a mama? Everything changed. I had always been such a free, independent spirit with a love for solo traveling the world. Then I met my husband and we became free, independent spirits with a love for traveling the world together. But who was I when I became a mom? I suddenly had a little human I was responsible for and had to take care of every waking second; my independence felt limited. My body drastically changed. I had new anxieties and fears. It wasn't just me and my husband anymore. It took me a while to work through all these feelings and figure out who I was as a mom.

Now, I know who I am as a mom and absolutely love being a mama to these two beautiful girls. I love doing life with my husband and girls and couldn't imagine it any other way. My husband and I love sharing our passions for exploring this beautiful world with our children. I feel confident in who I am and know the ways in which I want to improve. It's a beautiful thing becoming a parent. Embrace the journey and be proud of how far you’ve come.